Friendship

“Does anyone find it challenging to make friends as an adult? Real friends. Homies. People you can tell the truth, wear no makeup, admit the questionable thoughts you have. Perhaps take their advice.  

What I value in my friends is humor, perspective, honesty. Real listening, which can take years to cultivate. 

I recently spoke with my dear friend Gabby who is kicking ass at work, getting a raise and a promotion because, in part, she asked! She gave me some great feedback and perspective that I could not see for myself. We were talking about ambition, and wanting more than what we have. She reminded me that from where she sits, I have achieved and gotten more than I used to have, and some of the things I asked for. And there are desires not yet achieved. The same is true for her. Cheers to Gabby who so bravely crafted a solid argument and got her raise! It does not mean all her desires have been fulfilled. 

We all wish those things would be handed to us, but the world usually does not work that way. Gabby has someone close who recently has fallen ill. Gabby shared that story, and that it inspired her to act, not wait, to go after the things she wants. Results may not be perfect or may not be achieved at all. But "Go for it!" she said.

That's another thing great friends do. They inspire us. 

I am trying to put on Gabby's perspective of appreciating the life I have in front of me, and not waiting to be too polite or too organized or too prepared. Just go for the run. Just go for the raise. Just say what I want to my stepkids. Be more spontaneous in the little things. And less nervous about the big things.”  —Haley

“I recently hesitated to call a dear friend to discuss a problem because it seemed incomparable to the challenges she faced in 2019 (her son's death). I called anyway because our friendship is based on love, compassion, and care. The thought, This is what friends are for! crossed my mind. She offered a thoughtful proposal to my problem (mainly developing confidence), and reminded me not to lose sight of my recent personal accomplishments. A good old-fashioned pep talk.

Her pep talk reminded me that it is ok to be still, to settle into recent and exciting changes in my life, and to develop self-appreciation. What struck me the most from this conversation was her ability to listen—really listen—and share how she relates. 

The compassion and heartfelt advice she shared reminded me that vulnerability is important in friendships. It's one thing that helps us bond and deepen our connection, and it's not easy! I appreciate that about my friend. She reminds me authentic relationships are built from vulnerability.”

—Donene